I love how you took words out of an excerpt about cooking to turn it into a poem about friendships and human connection, something completely different. I think that's a pretty tough feat to accomplish. Human beings are constantly looking for meaningful relationships to "take away the pain", so I thought this was particularly relatable. I also enjoyed that the friend on the other end will "appreciate the delivery" because it symbolized that friendship is not just a one-way street, and everyone is looking for connection even though a person may feel like they're the only one that feels alone. Though I thought the title was clever, I wish that it related to the poem you created through the cooking excerpt rather than to the cooking excerpt itself. Because the poem has become a separate entity from the excerpt, I think it should have its own unique title as well. Overall though, I loved how personal this poem felt. -Abigail Adler
It is so cool how you took an article about cooking and made it into a life lesson. The way you started off the poem really put things into perspective. "You are a human being." It is such an obvious statement that we forget sometimes. It is the perfect way to start this poem which is about life. The only criticism I have is the title. If the full article wasn't present I would not know the connection at all between the title and the poem. Either way great job!
It is so cool how you took an article about cooking and made it into a life lesson. The way you started off the poem really put things into perspective. "You are a human being." It is such an obvious statement that we forget sometimes. It is the perfect way to start this poem which is about life. The only criticism I have is the title. If the full article wasn't present I would not know the connection at all between the title and the poem. Either way great job!
I really liked this "random" selection of the text because it is unlike the most frequented source of articles, the newspaper. As Joelle commented above, I really like the way you incorporated a life lesson into an unrelated cookbook article. Two specific lines that I like: "You are a human being" and "Two kinds: one friendly and one wildcard" because they truly twisted the original intent of the text. The first line was supposed to be conditional ("if you are a human being") and the second line was referring to kinds of soup. Two critiques: I did not fully grasp the meaning of the last line, which is supposed to be the "punch" of the moral lesson. What is the "delivery" in your poem, and why does the appreciation of the delivery depend on having two types of friends. Also, could this be longer? :) Tzivya
It took me a few reads to understand how the poem you created correlates to the title. After reading the text, including what was not crossed out, I understand. I'm glad you left the cross outs visible because it helps the reader understand the poem. I think most of the poem had to do with the original text but I liked the way you changed the meaning behind the phrase "two kinds-one friendly and one wildcard." That phrase did a great job with changing the meaning of an original text. Good job.
Wow, this was an extremely creative way to use the cut up technique, and I appreciated that you provided us with the original article. I loved how you were able to create such a strong relatable message from a piece that had nothing to do with that. I liked how you were able to create the question-"How can I take away the pain?" It is both impressive in a cutout and draws your audience in. Maybe you could include some of the verbs or more descriptive words from the article in your poem. Also I did not understand the last line about the delivery, so maybe you could elaborate on it with a few more lines. Really great job!
Wow, this was an extremely creative way to use the cut up technique, and I appreciated that you provided us with the original article. I loved how you were able to create such a strong relatable message from a piece that had nothing to do with that. I liked how you were able to create the question-"How can I take away the pain?" It is both impressive in a cutout and draws your audience in. Maybe you could include some of the verbs or more descriptive words from the article in your poem. Also I did not understand the last line about the delivery, so maybe you could elaborate on it with a few more lines. Really great job!
I love how you took words out of an excerpt about cooking to turn it into a poem about friendships and human connection, something completely different. I think that's a pretty tough feat to accomplish. Human beings are constantly looking for meaningful relationships to "take away the pain", so I thought this was particularly relatable. I also enjoyed that the friend on the other end will "appreciate the delivery" because it symbolized that friendship is not just a one-way street, and everyone is looking for connection even though a person may feel like they're the only one that feels alone.
ReplyDeleteThough I thought the title was clever, I wish that it related to the poem you created through the cooking excerpt rather than to the cooking excerpt itself. Because the poem has become a separate entity from the excerpt, I think it should have its own unique title as well. Overall though, I loved how personal this poem felt.
-Abigail Adler
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt is so cool how you took an article about cooking and made it into a life lesson. The way you started off the poem really put things into perspective. "You are a human being." It is such an obvious statement that we forget sometimes. It is the perfect way to start this poem which is about life. The only criticism I have is the title. If the full article wasn't present I would not know the connection at all between the title and the poem. Either way great job!
ReplyDeleteIt is so cool how you took an article about cooking and made it into a life lesson. The way you started off the poem really put things into perspective. "You are a human being." It is such an obvious statement that we forget sometimes. It is the perfect way to start this poem which is about life. The only criticism I have is the title. If the full article wasn't present I would not know the connection at all between the title and the poem. Either way great job!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this "random" selection of the text because it is unlike the most frequented source of articles, the newspaper. As Joelle commented above, I really like the way you incorporated a life lesson into an unrelated cookbook article. Two specific lines that I like: "You are a human being" and "Two kinds: one friendly and one wildcard" because they truly twisted the original intent of the text. The first line was supposed to be conditional ("if you are a human being") and the second line was referring to kinds of soup. Two critiques: I did not fully grasp the meaning of the last line, which is supposed to be the "punch" of the moral lesson. What is the "delivery" in your poem, and why does the appreciation of the delivery depend on having two types of friends. Also, could this be longer?
ReplyDelete:)
Tzivya
It took me a few reads to understand how the poem you created correlates to the title. After reading the text, including what was not crossed out, I understand. I'm glad you left the cross outs visible because it helps the reader understand the poem. I think most of the poem had to do with the original text but I liked the way you changed the meaning behind the phrase "two kinds-one friendly and one wildcard." That phrase did a great job with changing the meaning of an original text. Good job.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was an extremely creative way to use the cut up technique, and I appreciated that you provided us with the original article. I loved how you were able to create such a strong relatable message from a piece that had nothing to do with that. I liked how you were able to create the question-"How can I take away the pain?" It is both impressive in a cutout and draws your audience in. Maybe you could include some of the verbs or more descriptive words from the article in your poem. Also I did not understand the last line about the delivery, so maybe you could elaborate on it with a few more lines.
ReplyDeleteReally great job!
Wow, this was an extremely creative way to use the cut up technique, and I appreciated that you provided us with the original article. I loved how you were able to create such a strong relatable message from a piece that had nothing to do with that. I liked how you were able to create the question-"How can I take away the pain?" It is both impressive in a cutout and draws your audience in. Maybe you could include some of the verbs or more descriptive words from the article in your poem. Also I did not understand the last line about the delivery, so maybe you could elaborate on it with a few more lines.
ReplyDeleteReally great job!